


Take Your Past With You

by sarcastic_fi



Category: Fast & Furious 6 (2013), Fast and the Furious Series
Genre: Divorce, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Family, Fatherhood, Fluff and Angst, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Parents & Children, Past Sexual Abuse, Prison, Psychological Trauma, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con References, Slash, Undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-15 04:29:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fi/pseuds/sarcastic_fi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fast and Furious 6 spoilers - Brian spends three years in prison and when he is released has to find his way back to his family but struggles with all the changes he has been through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read tags for warnings. This story contains sexual scenes and references to abuse from the beginning although most of it takes place off screen or in distorted nightmares - also examples of PTSD. Thanks.

Brian was in the middle of giving Johnson a blow job when the hack came around, using his baton to rap sharply against the metal bars that defined Brian's life. “O'Connor, you have a visitor.”

It surprised Brian enough to catch his teeth on Johnson, light enough that it only caused the large brunet enough pleasure to spill down Brian's throat. He choked as he attempted to swallow it all. Johnson pushed him off and walked out with a smirk at the hack who had been paid off long ago to ignore all the fucking and violence around him. “Visitor?” Brian's voice was husky as he stood up.

The guard shrugged. “Someone pulled some strings to get in to see you.”

Visitation was once a fortnight for two hours in the morning or afternoon depending on if you behaved yourself and if you had anyone who cared. Brian was a model prisoner despite being a cop and a known troublemaker in the outside world. Honestly he'd never planned to get stuck in prison, but after Braga attacked him and one of his goons had the wise idea to rape Brian and knock him out long enough for his prints to run he hadn't exactly had a choice. He figured better to survive and have a chance at release or at least being moved to a prison with less security – less murderers and rapists – than to perish and never have the chance to tell his son he was sorry he missed him growing up. As for people who cared about him... well he had a choice; to let them see him like his – degraded and demoralised – or push them so far away that they had no choice but to get over him and move on. 

The hack didn't bother restraining Brian, just guided him down a series of grey dreary corridor until they emerged on the other side of a locked door in the visitors centre. It looked ever so slightly more cheerful, painted a cream colour less than ten years ago with an area for families behind a plastic divider and various chairs nailed down to the floor surrounding small plastic tables. Brian quickly located the person who come to see him.

“Dom,” he said, sitting down opposite his brother in law.

“Brian.”

“What are you doing here?” The last time Brian had seen any of his family had been at his trial shortly after they arrived back in the US. He's made Mia swear not to come again and never ever to send him photos of or letters about Jack.

“You're family.”

“No, I told you when I got convicted this is on me. You've got to stay away, all of you.”

“Is it easier, being alone?”

“Yes.”

Dom eyed him and nodded, accepting that he was serious. “How are you handling it?”

Brian looked away. “How do you think?”

“Anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” he met Dom's eyes now, blinking away the shame and focusing on the importance of this moment before it was gone and he was just a toy for the other prisoners to abuse. “Yeah, you can look after Jack for me. He needs you.”

“He needs his father.”

“Too bad I'm busy learning how to deep throat just to stay alive then,” Brian bit back, hating that Dom was reminding him of everything he didn't have any more. There were things he missed more than his freedom.

“I'll take care of him, Mia too. You don't have to ask me that.”

“Thanks.”

“You won't be here forever, Brian. Hobbs managed to get you a better deal. It's not a pardon like he managed for us, but you'll get a parole hearing in three years. You just have to survive until then.”

“I'm not worried about surviving, Dom. I'm scared of who it will make me,” he admitted. He never enjoyed the sex he traded for his right to breathe another breath, but he was becoming used to it; being held down, the taste of ejaculation, the accidental stimulation of his prostate when they were inside him. Something in him needed to be touched, even if it was only by these repulsive criminals using him the way they were.

“Don't think about that. Concentrate on three years. You have a goal, a reason to live Brian. Make it your everything.”

Brian didn't respond. A new guard approached him, warning him that it was time for PI and he said his goodbye. Three years? Surviving that long would be easy. Leaving mentally sound would be almost impossible.

Nothing would be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Brian picked up the receiver of the telephone for what felt like the hundredth time in the last month. He dialled and clenched his spare hand, determined to go through with it this time. He had gone a whole week without waking up at five am expecting hands grabbing, abusing; his cell-mate desperate to get that morning fellatio in before breakfast. He still had nightmares, still needed a lamp on to remind him he wasn't in solitary, still found it hard to chose what to buy at the supermarket because there was too much choice and too many people near him. 

Four rings... he was about to give up like he had so many times before when he heard the click of someone picking up the phone. “Toretto residence; Mia speaking.”

He couldn't breath – and then he could; panting harshly as his heart rate sped up and guilt, confusion, fear and more guilt came crashing down on him. “Who the hell is this? Is this the person who keeps calling up and hanging up because I'm getting really sick of-”

“Mia,” he rasped, interrupting her.

“Brian? Is that you?”

“Yeah. I... sorry about the calls. I just couldn't... I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I just... we're all worried. You're... out, right?”

“Yeah. Just over a month now.”

“When the calls started,” she realised. “How are you?”

“Okay. Mostly. The sun still hurts my eyes and I can't get used to people being nice but my parole officer says it'll pass.” 

“Have you got somewhere to stay?”

“Uh, a motel on Radlett.”

“You could-”

“No. That's not why I called, Mia. I wanted to know how you are... how... how Jack is.”

Warmth lit Mia's voice up at the mention of their son. “He's good, Brian. We both are. I moved back in with Dom after we were granted our pardons and he's helped out a lot. Jack's so smart and has so much energy... we can barely keep up sometimes,” she laughed. “He has your eyes.”

Brian leaned heavily against the wall, focusing on her words and his own breathing. “I'm glad.”

Silence descended between them. 

“Do... did you want to come and see him?”

“Would you be okay with that?”

“Yes, of course. He knows you are his father, Brian. We have pictures we show him all the time and he can't wait to meet you.”

“What did you tell him? About why I wasn't around.”

“The truth more or less... I mean most of the neighbourhood knows about our past so there wasn't much point in keeping it from him. He's still too young to understand what it means but he knows you were in prison and he knows you're a good man,” she assured him and it was a lot for Brian to take in.

“I... do you know what it means?” He asked, not wanting the answer but he needed to prepare her for the person he had become.

“I understand that prison changes people, and I know it must have been extra hard for you because you're a cop,” she paused, “and because you're pretty.”

He felt like she had punched him in the gut. He tried to tell himself it was a good thing she knew, that she had figured it out on her own, but all he could feel was the shame rising up in him because he hadn't fought them harder, hadn't been tough enough to get by like Dom had. He'd been a bitch and there was no way to avoid the truth of that. 

“Brian... Brian!” He slowly realised that Mia had been speaking to him for several minutes during which he remembered nothing. 

“Sorry... I... What were you saying?”

She sighed heavily. “Just that it's okay, I'm not expecting anything from you. Just... come over and meet Jack. If you come on Tuesday afternoon it'll just be me and Jack here.”

“Okay. I'll be there. And... thanks, Mia.”

He hung up, and sat down on the bed trying to ignore the fact that tears were running down his face.

Real men didn't cry, right?

Well, prison bitches did.


	3. Chapter 3

The house was just as he remembered it. Perfectly imperfect with it's maintained front lawn and the occasional weed, the paint peeling from the outside of the house but only in small almost unnoticed amount, cheep single glazed windows with their original wooden frames... everything about it screamed home to Brian who had never know what a home was until he met the Torettos. Now the idea of home felt even more foreign, like something he'd dreamed of once but had never experienced. He didn't even feel like he was worthy of experiencing it, not after the hell he'd been living for the past three and a half years. None of that mattered though, because this was his son's home and seeing Jack again was the only reason he was alive right now.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going inside?” Mia's voice startled him and shook him out of his daze. She was standing at the gate to the back garden where they'd had many a barbecue back in the good old days. The years had only made her more beautiful, her hair was as long as ever and she dressed in a long summer dress with a bronze bangle around her wrist and a wedding ring on her finger. Guilt stabbed him that she still felt bound by the vows she'd made to a man who no longer even existed. He'd fix it, he swore to himself and moved closer to close the distance between them.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Brian asked, one last chance for her to take one good look at his scum-of-the-earth face and send him packing.

“Brian,” she began, voice as soft and melodious as the angels in his long unanswered prayers, “this is going to happen. Not because of some concept of good or bad, but because you are his family, and to a Toretto family is everything.”

“Okay,” he said, more comforted by those words than by anything else she could have said. 

They went through the gate and into the back yard where Brian finally caught a glimpse of his child. The boy was a Toretto alright, with dark wavy locks and beautiful sun-kissed skin but Brian was pleased to see that his baby had his own eyes, bright blue and smiling up at him without a trace of fear or uncertainty. Jack sat on a tartan blanket with a plate of abandoned sandwich crusts and various pieces of Lego and several toy cars.

“Mama!” Jack said contentedly.

“Yes, baby. This is your daddy.”

“Daddy.”

“Yes Jack,” Brian agreed, and watched with the first feeling of happiness since he'd left Mia's side that day to help find Letty for Dom, for himself, as his son walked confidently towards him and opened his eyes for a hug.

“Home, daddy!” Jack informed him.

“Yeah, kid, I'm home at last.”

*

Later, with Jack settled watching the Pixar movie 'Cars' (for the twelve hundredth time since Dom had brought it for him two Christmases ago), Mia finally had a chance to get Brian alone in the kitchen. He sat at the table and kept one eye on his son and the other on her.

She placed a plate of food in front of him and with a word of thanks he took a bite. “Tuna? Nice touch.” 

“Hey, at least it brought a smile to your mouth. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how,” she teased as she sat down opposite him and thrust a glass of water at him.

Brian took another large mouthful and washed it down with the water. “I have to say your recipe is much improved.”

Mia gasped in mock outraged. “I knew you were faking liking the tuna!”

“Mia, everyone knew that the tuna was awful, even me.”

Her eyes danced with amusement. “Yeah, well even back then you never had simple motivations.”

He sighed. “I'm sorry.”

“What for?”

“Ruining your life. If I hadn't have messed it up for you then you never would have gone on the run. Letty wouldn't have lost her way, Dom wouldn't have become a fugitive and Jesse-”

“No. Don't apologize. That's my life you're talking about and I won't have you taking the last few years away from me. Maybe things were hard, and maybe you did stuff that was nothing to be proud of but the fact was my life was a house of cards before you came along and nothing you did was directly responsible for blowing it all down. Dom started down this path long before he met you, and we both know he dragged you down with us as much as you brought us down.” Mia was as proud and fierce as ever. He was glad she hadn't lost that.

“I made my choice to let Dom go because I felt guilty for bringing the cops into your home.”

“No, you made that choice because you loved him and couldn't bare to see him behind bars again. That's the same reason you helped us break him out when he was sentenced, the same reason you said yes to going to England with Dom to find Letty. You're a good guy, Brian, and you do things because of love which is the best reason there is.”

“I don't know if I'm that person any more Mia. And I don't think you should hold on to the idea that I might be again,” he said, taking her hand and drawing her attention to the ring.

“Oh. That. I mostly keep this on to repel the losers that come around from the race scene. I'm not sure if I even feel married any more Brian, but I'm a mother with a baby and people respect what this ring symbolizes. If it's okay with you I'd like to keep it on.”

Brian was both moved and relieved to hear that she thought that way. “Of course.”

“Eat up before it gets warm,” Mia said, breaking the tension of their moment as she got up to start clearing away the dishes from her and Jack's outdoor breakfast.

“Yeah, or it really will start to taste like the stuff you gave me when we first met!” Brian replied as he took another satisfying bite.

**


	4. Chapter 4

On Tuesday night after seeing his son and his... and Mia, Brian had the best night sleep he had gotten since Letty had 'died'. By Wednesday, however, he was back to waking every half hour half expecting to hear the snuffled breathing of his cell mate and the clicking of shoes on concrete floor as the guards did a piss poor job of patrolling. The light stayed on but even that couldn't convince him he was safe. All he could do was hold on to the sound of his son saying 'daddy, home' and the feel of Mia's hand in his, warm and forgiving. No demands, no pain, just family.

It wasn't something he deserved, he was sure, no one as dirty as he was should touch anything as innocent and pure as Jack but he couldn't stay away now he had seen his baby again. Besides, Mia was his mom and he trusted her to keep Jack safe, and if ever her judgement became clouded he knew Dom would do everything it took to protect his baby sister and beloved nephew from evil influences. 

Dominic Toretto was someone that Brian had tried very hard to forget while he was in prison. Brian had clung on to memories of the misery he had unleashed on Jesse, on Mia, on Letty and even on Vince, but Dom had never been someone he had associated guilt with. After Dom had learned the truth about Brian's ulterior motive in meeting Mia, it had been like a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Then Dom had been on the run, which hadn't sat easy with him which was a big reason why he had encouraged Letty to go undercover for the FBI thinking this way he could redeem himself. That hadn't planned out well. Finally, Brian had helped Dom get away from the American authorities and Dom had given him his blessing to be with Mia which had meant more than anything. Brian knew he had been forgiven by Dom, completely and without reservation, the moment Brian became wanted in order to help Dom and Mia out. In his heart though Brian hadn't let it all go until after Dom laid eyes on Letty again. Then he gave himself permission to move forward with his life, even though he had ended up in prison. Dom had been his salvation, and if Brian thought too long on Dom he knew he'd begin to wish he hadn't gone back to America, that he'd never allowed himself to be violated and abused just to stay alive. He began to wish he'd been worth saving.

Those thoughts never lead anywhere good and Brian knew he had to stay focused on breathing. He never wanted to die in some rat-infested prison with the world thinking he was scum who'd betrayed his own country. In prison he'd allowed the pain he had caused others validate his punishment. He had deserved everything Johnson and Braga doled out to him.

Now he had Jack.

_ * _

 

By Friday Brian was a wreck. The phone rang at eleven fifteen in the morning and Brian groped for it on his night-stand having only just gotten to sleep after a fitful night.

“Hello?” He grunted into the phone. He had learnt not to answer with his name during his time on the run from the cops. People who he wanted to speak to would recognise his voice and everyone else could go to hell.

“Brian? You sound terrible.” It was Mia, and he'd managed to worry her. Last thing she needed to be doing was concerning herself with his health when she had enough going on in her life.

“No, it's fine. I slept badly last night so I haven't really got up yet. The curse of the unemployed,” he joked badly.

“I'm sorry. I... I'll let you get back to sleep.”

“No, no Mia! Don't go, just tell me why you called. I'd rather hear your voice than sleep anyhow... I mean. Sorry, that sounded a bit... Mia, why did you call?”

She was smiling now, he could hear it in her voice. “To invite you to Saturday lunch, we're having it outside and maybe... maybe you could stay for Sunday lunch as well, you can sleep in the spare room.”

“I thought Letty was with you guys? Oh, I guess she sleeps with Dom, huh?”

“Actually no, she moved out. Said she cared about Dom a lot but she wasn't into living in the past like some ghost. Wanted to move forward. She hasn't hooked up with anyone yet but she's a free agent, so is Dom. Anyway, Letty went to live with her grandmother before she passed away and just never moved out.”

“Oh,” Brian said inanely.

“So, are you coming?”

“Sure. I'd... I'd love to.”

“That's what I thought. Now get out of bed, lazy bones, and go drink some coffee and eat some toast before you scour the job section.”

“Yes, mom!” He teased, and hung up to the sound of her laughter. 

As much as he had mocked her he knew she was right. It was time to put self-pity behind him, to stop living his nightmare and start being a functioning human being. If he couldn't at least attempt to be one how would he ever become one?

He rose from his bed, stripping the sheets off the old dingy mattress and bundling them up for the laundromat. He showered under a tepid drizzle of water and later over compensated with deodorant. While he was under the trickle of water his hand stayed far away from his dick, once he would have jacked off thinking of Mia or a fantasy involving burly men and dominant women but that had been before. Now whenever he stimulated himself all he could taste was bitter cum, smell unwashed male bodies and the tearing pain of dry penetration. Needless to say the whole idea of masturbation left him soft. After washing, he shaved the shadow of a bear that had started to appear on his chin since Tuesday and dressed in reasonably clean jeans and a t-shirt that he had brought after his release. Then he sat down with bitter coffee and stale toast to browse the job section. He would do his best. Someone was counting on him to put himself together again, and he never wanted to let anyone down ever again.


	5. Chapter 5

Brian turned up over twenty minutes late, surprised that he had even made it as far as the street in front of the Toretto house. He had already had two panic attacks this morning and taken the maximum dose of the meds prescribed to him by a doctor at the free clinic. Now all he had to do was walk up to the door and knock. Brian paused on the pavement opposite the house. His heart was willing but his head said no and his feet were clearly obeying the latter.

"Hey!" A vaguely aggressive voice called out from behind him and he would liked to be proud of the fact he didn't jump but his reaction was almost worse. Brain went as still as death, barely even breathing as he waited for what ever form of abuse he deserved to come his way, that was until he caught sight of the dark haired speaker and suddenly he could breathe again. Letty was always aggressive. “You admiring the paint work?”

“Everyone coming?” He asked her, staring at the house wandering how it could still look the same even when he wasn't the same person looking anymore.

“Just family,” she shrugged.

Not everyone, then. Just enough.

“C'mon, O'Connor. There are hungry Torettos you're keeping waiting,” she said, sensing that if it was left up to Brian to move closer to his destination then it'd be dark before anyone got to eat. She grabbed his arm, gently enough considering it was Letty, and tugged him towards the house. He let her lead, finding it easier to follow now there was someone directing him. 

They made it to the picnic area at the back of the house to find the three residents already gathered around the beaten up table with it's simple white cloth on top and bowls of various foods spread out. Letty let him go and greeted Dom with a kiss that wasn't as passionate or as long as Brian would have imagined them sharing even if they were supposedly not together any more and Brian went over to greet Mia, figuring that with the uncertain element of their relationship status that a simple kiss on her cheek would suffice as 'hello'. She smiled up at him and took the multi-pack of Corona he had brought with him to add to the feast in front of him. Next he hugged his enthusiastic son who was already hyped up on pre-lunch pop, special occasions only Mia assured him (as if he was in any position to judge her parenting). Then he had to face Dom, who was sat at the head of the table looking as impressive and imposing as ever. Brian chickened out of physical contact and just nodded in his brother in law's direction. Dom didn't push it. Since Mia was sat next to Letty, Brian sat in the only seat that was spare which was between Jack and Dom. He sat there awkwardly while everyone, even Jack, bowed their heads in prayer and Brian just focused on his breathing, in and out, even and deep without making it obvious that he was on her verge of freaking out. He barely heard Dom's words, something about gratitude for the freedoms they had and for family in times of need. Once grace was over with everyone began talking and laughing, bowls of food were passed around the table and when they reached Brian he automatically passed them to Mia before she started directing him on what to give Jack. It seemed the boy was a little bit fussy and only liked potato salad, chicken drumsticks and red things like peppers and tomatoes. He whined when Brian followed Mia's instruction and added a healthy dose of cucumber and lettuce to his plate but Mia gave him a stern look and he obediently stuffed some in his mouth, albeit covered in sauce to disguise the taste. Brian laughed quietly and ruffled his son's hair in affection. A sense of tranquility and peace settled in his gut and he thought that maybe today would be okay after all.

“Brian,” Mia interrupted his thoughts, “Aren't you forgetting something?”

He looked up at her, unsure of what she meant.

“Your plate?” Letty hinted as she bit into a piece of chicken with gusto.

Brian looked down at the white porcelain plate in front of him blankly. Then it hit him. It was empty. He had forgotten to dish himself up some food. No, not forgotten, he just hadn't had permission. His gut clenched and his vision greyed. 

“It's okay,” Mia said calmly, her sweet voice bringing him back to the present, giving him something real to focus on. “Here, what do you want?”

What did he want? Brian took a look around the table, seeing bowls of mixed salad, coleslaw, tomatoes, peppers, potato, chicken, ham, bread rolls, cheese, sauces and more and all the while he kept thinking 'what do I want? What do I want' without coming up with a single answer. He was hungry for sure, his last meal had been a hot-dog from a street vendor sometime yesterday when he'd left the motel to by a news paper and before that nothing but caffeine and stale toast. What did he want? When was the last time someone had asked him that, expecting an actual answer? Months? No, years. He checked everyone else's plates, trying to see if there was a right answer. Dom had meats, bread and potato piled high with a few token leafy items that he was clearly going to ignore while Mia and Letty much smaller proportions. How much should he have? Would he look rude if he only had a few items, just enough to fill his undersized stomach or would the opposite be true if he tried to glut himself on the free feast in front of him in preparation for days of starvation and dry heaving? Brian was frozen in indecision, and everyone was watching him. What should he do?

What did he want?

“Have some ham, man,” Letty said. He caught her eyes and saw something akin to understanding. He guessed out of everyone Letty would be the one who could empathize with what he was going through, although she had had a genuine reason for being overwhelmed by the world after she lost her memory. What was Brian's excuse? He still remembered perfectly well what he did and did not like. Had he just grown so used to others making his decisions for him that he couldn't even point to a dish of food on the table in front of him? It wasn't entirely accurate to say that, it was more like he hadn't been allowed to make his own mind up about something for so long that it was more than just second nature to wait for someone else's approval or permission before eating.

Dom broke the tension. He grabbed a bottle by the neck, twisted the cap off and put it in Brian's hands. “Drink,” he commanded and Brian gratefully gulped down the warm beer and watched passively as Dom selected bowl after bowl of food, portioning out amounts of food for Brian on his plate. Brian ended up with more on his plate than the girls but far less than Dom. He was embarrassed but grateful and when he had taken the first bite of food the atmosphere lightened and the day went on unspoilt.


	6. Chapter 6

After lunch Brian tried to insist he be allowed to hello clear the dishes up, knowing that Mia would have been the one to put the feast together and not believing it was right for her to do the cleaning up as well. Letty put an end to that idea, admitting that it was her turn because she had shown up empty handed and Brian was told to go play with Jack who eagerly grabbed his hand and pulled him away to show him his 'secret' layer. Brian was pleased to see his son was gifted with the Toretto spirit of family and friendliness and found himself easily drawn into his son's imagination as they lost hours of time plating car races (with pretend cars), hide and seek, chase and, much to everyone's amusement, a game of 'cops and robbers' where Jack insisted on being the cop.

Eventually Jack wore himself out and Mia insisted he have a bath to clean the dirt and sweat off of him before bedtime. Mia invited Brian up for a story afterwards but Brian watched the way his sleepy son clung to Mia and knew that it wasn't the time to push himself that far into Jack's life. He was too young to have someone who was still basically a stranger reading stories to him when all he wanted was his mommy. 

Letty started on a bowl of popcorn and Brian was invited to stay for the adult entertainment which consisted of a movie in the living room. Brain, unsure of what the usual was since he'd been away for so long, hovered uncertainly in the doorway as they all arranged themselves. Mia spread out on the loveseat, tucking her feet under her thights and draping a blanket over herself as she settled in. Letty had the popcorn as she leaned up against Dom who sat in the centre of the sofa with the best view of the television and the remote in his hand. He always enjoyed movies more when he was in control. That left the empty space to the right of Dom for Brian to sit in. He kept his limbs tucked in as closely as possible so he didn't make contact with Dom but as the night wore on he relaxed and by the end of the film his thigh was warm against Dom's jean-clad leg and Dom's hand dangled just millimetres above his shoulder, his arm stretched along the back of the worn green sofa.

Mia was asleep by this point, snoring softly to herself. Dom, doing his over protective big brother act, picked her up and carried her out of the room, presumably up stairs, while Letty picked up her belongings and said goodnight. Brian tidied away the last of the food and washed out the empty Corona bottles. 

“You need a ride?”

Brian turned around to face his brother-in-law. Dominic was leaning casually in the doorway of the small kitchen and while he looked about as relaxed and disarming as Dom could look, Brian, who knew him well enough not to be afraid of the large muscular man, still found himself unable to relax now that they were alone.

“Don't worry about it,” Brian shrugged off the offer.

“Brian. Get in the damn car,” Dom said and left the room not once bothering to look behind him to see if Brian was following. They both knew he would be.

 

The silence in the car was thick but neither man did anything to break it as they drew up to the shitty motel that Brian refused to call home. Dom took one look at it and snorted in disgust.

“This place gives cardboard boxes a good name.”

“Prison industry pays six dollars a day, Dom, this place is twelve dollars a night. Things stay as they are then a cardboard box will be a luxury I won't be able to afford!” Brian bit back at the other man. Dom's hands tightened around the wheel.

“What happened at the table? That happen often?”

Brian shrugged, staring at the flickering lights of the 'vacancy' sign. “Some.”

“Things will get better, Bri,” Dom said, sounding so confident.

“They already are,” he admitted. Sighing he reached for the handle and tossed a 'thank you' at Dom before returning to the depressing reality of his life that the motel room represented. This time he didn't even pretend to consider turning the light off, just undressed and huddled beneath the thin stained blanket and tried his best to hold on to the feelings that playing with Jack had given him. The sight of his son's smile, the sound of his laughter, the feel of his little arms wrapped around his neck giving him a hug goodbye. Hopefully not his last.


	7. Chapter 7

Dom woke early on Sunday intending to have enough time to work on his car before he, Mia and Jack headed out to church. Dom knew that the original plan had been to have Brian stay the night in the spare room and invite him to stay for lunch after church but Dom had other ideas after what had happened yesterday. Mia was living in a dream world if she expected Brian to be able to click into place with their little family like the missing piece of a jigsaw after three years of maximum security prison. It was time for a wake up call, and he meant for all of them.

Speaking of waking up he wanted to check on Jack before he headed out. The boy was sleeping soundly, unusual because he was normally an early riser much to Mia's eternal disgust, but after yesterday he must be exhausted. Poor tyke.

“Is he...” Mia asked from behind him, yawning half way through the sentence. She wasn't dressed yet, still in her worn sleep tee and threadbare dressing gown. In the morning light with her hair all tangled she could almost be fifteen again.

“He's fine. Sleeping. You should go back to bed.”

“Yeah, right. Thanks to three years of him rising early my internal alarm clock won't allow me to sleep past five thirty.”

Doom huffed out a soft laugh and they left the boy to sleep, seeking out coffee which was now a necessity for both of them. Mia started the pot and automatically cleaned up as she went along. “Yesterday went well. Did Brian get home okay?” She asked, her voice deliberately casual as she handed him a fresh hot cup of coffee.

“I gave him a ride.”

“From the look on your face I gather the destination was less than desirable.”

Dom shrugged. He figured he knew where this was going. “I've stayed in worse.”

“Dom! Come on.”

“What?”

“Dom! We have a spare room. We should invite him to live with us. He's family. It'd be good for him, and for Jack.”

“No,” he said, the word flat and unyielding. He drained the last of the drink and put the empty mug in the washing up bowl.

“Excuse me?” Mia followed him out of the kitchen, her voice indignant. She hated being dictated to, even if, push comes to shove, they knew he was the head of this family. It was how it had been since their father died. “Hey, don't walk away from this! This is my home too, Dom, and I can invite him to live here if I damn well want to!” Ah the good old Toretto temper. Mia had her fair share, but no one had more than Dom.

“Mia. Do you love him?” The words stopped her in her tracks. The expression on her face told him everything he needed to know but he pushed her further. After last night there would be no more hiding from the truth by anyone. “Well, do you?”

“Dom, that's not even-”

“It's a simply question Mia, and an important answer.”

“Nothing about that is simple.”

“Are. You. In. Love. With. Brian O'Connor. Yes, or no?” He asked, loudly and in her face the way he knew she hated.

“No!” She yelled back at him. “God dammit, Dom. No, okay! I don't love Brian the way a wife should. I'm not in love with him any more. You can't blame me, the time I spent with him was brief compared to the separations. He was a FBI agent and you were gone, then when we came back together and I feel for him. I did. It was good for a while, but three years in prison? That's longer than we were living together married, Dom. So you cannot blame me!” 

“Mia,” Dom said gently and caught his baby sister in his arms. “I don't blame you. No one blames you. You have been strong in his absence, raised Jack all by yourself and done a spectacular job. He's perfect and it's all because of you. That's part of the reason that inviting Brian to come live here is a mistake.”

“Explain it to me,” she demanded. Stubborn to the end.

“For starters there is yesterday. I know he was great with Jack, but Mia, he's a shadow of himself. He forgot to eat. How can you think someone who doesn't remember to take care of himself is someone you can trust Jack with? He's going to need time to recover. Get back what was lost.”

“How do you recover from being gang raped for three years, Dom? Because I don't see how his family abandoning him is going to help any.”

“No one is abandoning him, Mia. Besides, it's not about being raped. It's about the indoctrination and institutionalization. Brian changed when he was inside, he wouldn't have survived if he hadn't. Being back in the real world is going to take some getting used to, Mia, and he's going to need some help. Help that you shouldn't be the one to offer him, especially not when you are planning on divorcing him.”

Mia looked like she had been slapped and Dom felt like a heel for delivering the verbal blow but it had to be done. A clean break healed the best. “Sis, I love you but there's no point running from the truth. Someone like Brian doesn't get through prison without doing some pretty awful things, the kind of things that haunt you in the night. There is only one person I can think of who is qualified to help him. Someone who knows Brian a hell of a lot better than we do, and I've already called him.” With that final announcement Dom walked away to work out his anger, guilt and frustration out on his car, leaving Mia sitting in the door way, a cold cup of coffee in her hands and a broken heart to mend.


	8. Chapter 8

A knocking woke Brian. Obnoxious and persistent. He figured it was the motel manager after more money and tried to bury his head underneath the pillows and block the noise out. It never let up and eventually Brian admitted defeat. Being harassed by the slimy managed had to be less annoying than listening to that all morning long. He pulled on a pair of tatty grey sweats and shrugged into an oversized white tee before unlocking the flimsy wooden door.

“Damn, you are one hard son of a bitch to wake up! When'd you get so lazy. Must be all those doughnuts you ate back before you grew some, huh?” 

“Man, what the hell are you doing here?” Brian asked as Roman Pierce shoved his way into his motel room without waiting for permission. Brian closed the door behind his childhood friend and ignored the guilt that after three years this was how he greeted the one person who had always been there for him growing up. Back in Barstow Brian had been a loner until Roman came along and they'd been inseparable. That was until Brian turned cop, for all the good it had done him. Look at them now, no better off than if they'd ever left Barstow in the first place. 

“Couldn't find anything shittier, huh Bri?” Roman asked, judging the room with a single look, not that there was enough in it to take more than one look. Everything about the motel said that Brian was desperate, from the peeling 70's wall paper, threadbare carpet that was so stained that no one could say for certain what the original colour was and the fact that his bathroom didn't have a door. 

“Not that it isn't good to see you, Rome, but how the hell did you even know I was here?” He asked, keeping on the defensive. It seemed safer somehow.

“Right, because you didn't tell me you were out,” Roman's voice was thick with accusation. “Whatever man, I'm just here to rescue your scrawny white ass.”

“I'm not exactly a damsel in distress.”

“That's not now Dominic Toretto tells it.”

“Dom called you?” Brian asked in a shaky voice. Disgust at himself for ever thinking he could be accepted back into the Toretto family welled up inside him and he barely made it to the bathroom before he was spewing up yesterdays ham and chicken salad.

“Aw, man, that is just unpleasant,” Roman commented as he hovered in the doorway, torn between the urge to copy his friend and compliment him. Usually when the vomiting started, Roman bailed. He didn't have a strong stomach. It didn't make him a bad friend, in fact Roman was his best friend and the reasons for that were well worth remembering especially since it looked like Rome was the only one he had. Dom had seen what a mess he was and decided, for the good of the family, that Brian should be out of the future. Not that he blamed him. It had taken him weeks to work up the nerve to talk to Mia, knowing that once he did there was no turning back from being a part of Jack's life. Jack didn't deserve a part time father, and he sure as hell didn't deserve to have a dad who couldn't even think for himself. Dom was right to push him away. Brian was just lucky Roman had come when Dom called. 

When Brian finished he flushed the toilet and sat down on the unclean bathroom floor, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and panting from the unexpected exertion. He was so tired, physically and emotionally. “Brian,” Roman began, kneeling down in front of his friend, sounding suspiciously serious for possibly the first time in their friendship. “This is why Dom called me. You're not well, and we all know I'm the best person to get you better.”

Brian laughed but the sound was void of anything resembling humour. It was a dark, hollow, cynical sound that left an after-taste in his mouth more bitter than vomit. “You mean because of juvie.”

“Yeah. I know exactly how many of those crazy motherfuckers were gunning for you back when you were young and pretty and that was when they were facing the maximum of three years inside. Now, you did most of your own ass kicking but without me around to watch your back there is no way you could make it through a max security prison with men inside who haven't seen a pussy in twenty years intact. A pretty young thing like you, and a cop to boot? Bri, I'm surprised you got out at all. You and me both know the only way you would have manage that was if you traded the one thing you had on you at the time. Your ass.”

The words were blunt and Brian had to breath heavily through his nose for a few minutes to stop himself from throwing up again at the vivid images the words conjured. Once he was sure he was past the point of vomiting he lifted his hand to his face to clean of any lingering sick and noticed that his cheeks were soaked. He had been crying the whole time.

“Come on, Bri. I've got you.” Roman manhandled him up and they made there way out of the door, leaving Radlett Street motel far behind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with rape recovery and briefly mentions symptoms of PTSD without any clinical knowledge or explanation.

One Year Later

The radio woke Brian up with a cheerful update on the traffic this morning. The noise soothed him, reminding him each stressful morning that he was a free man. The buzzer of the previous alarm clock had to go – it had sounded like the signal used at the prison to indicate lock-down procedures and Brian had woken each morning in a cold sweat screaming. Vocalising his pain was still a strange experience for him, knowing that Roman could hear him. He had spent three years pretending to be a thing that didn't have emotions like sorrow, pain and panic that he automatically felt an overwhelming amount of shame flood him once the emotion had dissipated and all that was left was the knowledge he had failed himself. Roman had introduced him to the perfect coping method; fixing up a battered old import that Tej had brought over for him with the understanding that once it was spit shined back into its glorious former self (with some improvements), Tej would have the car back to pimp out on the racing scene. Brian was fine with this, it wasn't like he had any intention of ever getting behind the wheel again. Not after what he did.

Brian had good days and bad day but with each passing twenty-four hour interval he was finding it easier to make decisions for himself. Roman started off with simple things, presenting him with option one verses option two. The answer his friend was looking for was never 'whatever you want man, I'm easy'. When Brian had struggled making even the most basic of choices his friend had taken the time to ask him to talk about the choice he was making. What would the man formerly known as Brian O'Conner do? Why would he choose A over B? What benefits would B have over A? Eventually these thoughts started running through Brian's head without any prompting and he was now able to go food shopping and choose his own clothing at stores. 

The worst day had come about four months in. Brian hadn't seen or heard from the Torettos in that time, something which he knew he deserved, until a letter came in the post. A request for a divorce from Mia. She had seen how damaged he was, how ugly he was inside no matter the pretty baby blues, or all-American blond locks. She obviously didn't want him near Jack and he couldn't blame her. He signed it without bothering to read the small print and handed it over to Rome. For three weeks after that he barely ate and spent most of his time sleeping, or screaming into his pillow. Roman saw how unhealthy it was and got him to start punching at a heavy bag that Rome hung in what had become Brian's bedroom. It was hard for Brian to express his anger, but once he started he couldn't stop and now he spent a small amount of his time in the ring at a near by gym facing opponents who reminded him of the beefy ugly men who sexually abused him for three years. Things started to look up after that.

Brian knew he couldn't live in this bubble forever, relying only on Rome for company and spending all his time on the car or at the gym. Something had to happen. Somehow he had to find a way to start living life. It just hurt too much to contemplate because the life he wanted to live, with Jack as his son and the Torettos as family, was closed to him. So he kept swimming against the tide of his darkest emotions. He didn't expect Hobbs to be the one to offer him a chance to take back everything that was stolen from him; everything that he gave away.

When Roman came home from a party the morning after Hobbs' visit he found Brian sitting on his bed chain smoking cigarettes. Immediately the smile fell off of Rome's face and he came to sit down next to Brian, removing the cigarette from Brian's unsteady fingers and taking a puff of the poisonous smoke before starting a conversation.

“If you wanted to smoke then you should have come out with me last night. All the smokes, booze and drugs you could ask for. And the ladies! Man, I had me some fun, Bri.”

“Yeah, my parole officer would enjoy throwing me back inside for drugs.”

“You've never done drugs, Bri, why would you start now?”

Brian shrugged, steeling back his cigarette before answering in unsteady tones. “Take the easy way out.”

“Out of what? Life? Nah man, you're not pulling that shit on me. You've been going good, making all the grown up boy decisions on your own and fixing up that piece of shit car Tej lent you... what's got you retreating so far into that thick ass skull of yours that you can't even look me in the eye?”

“Hobbs.”

“Damn! I thought I smelt baby oil. What did the hulk want?”

“A favour.”

“Brian! After everything you've been through, after everything I've helped you get through don't you owe me more than just cryptic one word answers?”

Brian inhaled a shuddering breath and leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed so he didn't have to face his friend. “He wants me undercover with a con that was locked up with me. He wants me to be that person again.”

“Fuck that. He can just go find himself someone else to tear apart.”

“Rome – I want to do it.”

“Are you insane? Brian, you came out of prison in the worst shape of your life and you want to put yourself in that position again? What is in it for you?”

“I used to be a cop, Rome, and I know you have issues about that. It wasn't about being a good guy or a white hat; it was about helping people. I want to help someone again, Rome, I want to do something that makes me feel like my life isn't just something that's happening to me until I die.”

“So you're going to put yourself on the line for Hobbs aganda in the hopes it makes you feel good about yourself? Hell, Brian, this is gonna go badly.”

Brian nodded. “Are you going to still be here when I come back?” Broken, he finished the sentence in his mind.

“You're my best friend man. Of course I'll be here, this cot will be here and that stupid fucking punch bag will be here.”

Brian gave his friend a small smile and stubbed the cigarette out into the ashtray he'd been holding. 

“You really going to do this?”

“Yeah,” he said, and it felt like the best decision he'd made since he'd gone to prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra nervous about posting this because I am so aware that it's been forever since I updated (after Paul Walker died I wasn't sure if I could ever write Fast and Furious fanfiction again, RIP). I know this has a slightly different tone and that Roman may feel a little OOC - but protective Roman is a role we haven't seen him have to fill in the movies so I just went with it. Don't stress too much about the Torettos - we'll catch up with them next chapter which should be up soon. Hope you guys like this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, we'll get to the Torettos next chapter, not this one as promised. It's just how the story rolled out.

Brian met with Hobbs a week later to discuss details about the case. Upon learning about this Rome had taken off in a huff, forgetting his cell in the garage where Brian was working on Tej's car. Brian found the smell of motor oil and the presence of tools comforting, so he invited the Fed into his space as he tinkered with the engine and sipped on scalding hot black coffee.

“You cut your hair,” Hobbs observed.

Brian flushed slightly under the scrutiny. Last time he had seen Hobbs he had been a free man with what he had thought was a low maintenance but professional haircut. It had grown out in prison, long enough to pull on, but remained that same mousy colour without enough sunlight to bring out his blond streaks. Originally he’d left it longer when he’d been released, not overly concerned with appearances. Five months ago, just when he thought he’d reached a turning point, he and Rome had been in a bar when a man loudly and verbally assaulted his girlfriend, calling her a cock sucking whore piece of trash. That night Brian had woken up screaming, positive that someone had their hands gripped tight in his hair and was forcing him down. He choked on air as if his throat was blocked by an enlarged phallus, his ears ringing from expletives and his scalp creaming in agony. Roman busted in his room, breaking the lock that Brian had insisted exist, and, as gently as he could, brought Brian back to reality. When Brian was functionally conscious and his hair still hurt Roman asked him to think about where his hands were. Brian had looked at him like he was insane, but slowly the realisation came to him that his own hands were buried in his hair, gripping tight and causing agony. Eventually he released his hold, and collapsed on the bunk, too scared to fall back asleep. The next morning Roman had taken him to a barber to have his head buzzed short. He’d never let it grow back since.

“Yeah, it won’t be a problem,” Brian assured him, focusing on the present as he scrubbed a hand nervously over his shorn head. His hair was an asset, especially when it grew long enough to curl and brightened under the sun; very much a surfer look and one he had adorned when he was younger. Still, I wasn’t his best feature and Brian wasn’t afraid to use all of his skills to get the job done. It didn’t do to underestimate him.

Hobbs gave him a hard look but decided not to pursue his line of thinking. This was probably a wise decision. “These people aren’t like the regular street scum you’re used to. Even Owen Shaw doesn’t compare to their particular brand of vileness.”

Brian nodded. He’d met plenty of truly vile creatures while he’d been incarcerated in a max security prison. “You said it was Teddy ‘Bear’ McNamara who is my in?”

“McNamara’s half sister Lizzie is married to the ringleader Aiden Bailey.”

“Bear said he was in for narcotics.”

Hobbs nodded. “He was caught on what we believe is a supply run. Heroin and cocaine, enough to bribe and supply. They were giving it to the girls.”

“Prostitutes? Bailey's a pimp?”

“Kinda, but the girls they run aren't volunteers.”

“Human trafficking?” Brian asked, feeling nauseous.

Hobbs nodded. “We have nothing solid on them.”

“What have you tried before?”

“Undercover, both female recruits and male. The first girl we lost, the second tapped out after a particularly brutal beating followed by an 'accidental' overdose with heroin. We got her before she died, but the experience scarred her so badly she retired from the force, works as a nanny-cum-bodyguard in new York for high society brats. Then men... they don't ever get in. Can't pass the test.”

“The test?”

“It took us a while to figure it out, but they have a very specific criteria for hiring. Most of their employees are men they knew from prison who had been turned out or particularly disgusting individuals they pick out at gay clubs; the kind of men who spike drinks and worse.”

“They only hire gay men?”

“That way they can guarantee that the product is pure and untouched.”

“Which is why you think I'm your best bet undercover,” Brian summarised. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, someone categorizing his sexuality as gay before he even had time to think it over in his head. Back in Barstow no one was gay, not unless you wanted a beat down and to be ostracised from pretty much everyone. Then Rome and him got locked up in juvenile detention and Brian learned to fight with his legs while Rome threw the punches. That was where he redefined what it was to be a man and how sexuality worked. Inside if you topped then that was fine, you were still an alpha, a true blooded male, but for those poor unfortunate souls who sold themselves or were forced into bottoming they were considered less than male, less than girls, something less than even human. Only person they could count on was whoever wanted to be on top of them, and even then that was a fickle relationship. The cops that Brian had hung out with as an adult were hardly any better, homophobic, racist... just as fucking indoctrinated as the men they imprisoned. So Brian never had a chance to challenge the idea of his own heterosexuality, not until he was locked up in a maximum security prison without a friend. He remembered vividly the night in solitary when he still thought he would be getting out tomorrow; Braga at the door until that lock released and he was cornered. “Break his legs,” Braga had ordered when he saw how Brian fought. Fear had made Brian freeze. He needed his legs, needed them to walk and run and fight and most importantly to drive. It was that moment of fear that started him down this path. One of Braga's friends, a man that Brian had never seen before, had suggested that he could find a better use for Brian than a punching bag. Afterwards Brian had passed out, hoping in part that he would never wake up again. By the time he had regained consciousness he was being hauled in front of the prison warden, who yelled that he did not appreciate the LAPD using his prison as a playground for whatever underhanded trick they were trying to pull. Brian was arrested under his own name and a trail quickly had him convicted. Was he gay for bartering his body for survival after that point? Brian was pretty sure the answer was no, but that didn't mean he was straight either. Still, the easy way Hobbs assessed his sexuality made his skin prick and pebble.

“I'm not judging,” Hobbs was quick to reassure him. “I just use what I have available to get the job done. You going to be okay doing this? Now would be the time to bow out if not.”

“I'm not a coward,” Brian bit his cheek, preferring the taste of blood to the bitterness of the lie on his tongue. “Bear knows me from inside, he won't question it. I just have to come up with a story for what I've been doing for the last year.”

“You come up with a story, I'll manufacture the evidence to support it. Whatever you need, O'Conner,” Hobbs promised, and Brian heard how sincere he was. He knew this wasn't like going under for Bilkins or even Tanner; Hobbs had a healthy respect for Brian and Brian's capabilities and Brian knew if he needed to be pulled out Hobbs would be there for him. He shook the other man's hand and Hobbs retreated for the day, having given Brian more than enough material to work with for now.

Over by the table Rome's phone buzzed and from the corner of his eye Brian caught the name 'Big D' lighting up the screen. He chuckled to himself, Rome knew some truly ridiculous people. Minding his own business, he slid back under the jacked up car and set to working on the ocean blue import Tej had sent over for him to fix up. The work centred him, and calmed his mind. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

Brian was still under the car when Roman finally wandered home several hours later. 

“Where've you been, cuz?” Brian asked, standing up and dusting off the oversized white t-shirt and jeans he was dressed in. 

Rome gave him a sour look. “Avoiding law enforcement; and how is the hulk?”

“He's fine. Had some details for me.” 

“Still intent on risking your life?”

“Yep. Oh, by the way you forgot your phone. Which girl didn't you call back now? That thing's been blowing up like someone's drowning and you're the lifeguard.”

“You see who's been calling?”

Brian shrugged. “Looked like a 'Big D'?”

“Damn it, Bri, I need my privacy. Can't have you looking at my personal business!” Roman snapped at him, grabbing his cell from where he had left it and scrolling through the call log with surprising urgency.

Brian felt like ice had been injected into his veins. “Rome; we live together in a spacious-but-undeniably-meant-for-one-person-two-bed-apartment. We put our clothes in the same freaking washer and eat with the same set of cutlery. I've been showering and pissing in your bathroom for a year, but I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of your phone screen lit up with a name like 'Big D' on it and suddenly I'm in your face? Nah man, I don't buy it. You want me gone, you just let me know. Don't be a bitch about it.” With that smack down, Brian took his bottle of water and the hoody he'd thrown down on the ground hours ago and let the door to the house slam shut behind him. Roman cussed but didn't follow. Instead he hit 'call' and listened to the ring of his cell, hoping to take his own frustration out on someone his own size, or well, a little bigger but further away.

The Toretto House, California

“Dom, your cell is ringing!” Mia shouted as she stirred in some cheese into the sauce she was cooking for dinner. 

Her brother snatched the cell up and rushed it to his ear, barking a “why the hell haven't you been answering” down the line. Jack looked up in shock at his uncle from where he sat at the table drawing. 

“Uncle Dom said a bad word!” He yelled to his mom.

Mia rolled her eyes. “Just ignore him, sweetie, I'll make him apologise later,” she added with some heat. She knew well enough who he had been trying to reach all day but it didn't excuse his language in front of a five year old.

Dom ignored his sister and settled for a ruffle to his nephew's brown hair before going outside onto the porch to have this conversation. “I have a life you know, Toretto,” came Roman Pearce's caustic reply.

“Who doesn't answer their cell?”

“People who don't want to speak to the people who is ringing, that's who; fool! Besides, I told you not to call, that I'd keep you updated.”

“You haven't called in over two weeks,” Dom growled, bearly keeping a lid on his infamous temper.

“Thought your new spy would be keeping you updated.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You didn't send the Hulk in?”

“Hobbs? Haven't heard from him since him and his daughter came for lunch two months ago. Why is he bothering Brian?”

“He wants Brian to go under.”

“Undercover? Brian isn't a cop anymore.”

“Yeah, that seems to be the appeal.”

“What?”

“Look, why do you even care anyway, Dom? He's not your boy, never was as far as I see it.”

“Brian is family.”

“Bullshit, if you really cared about him then you'd have done more than listen to me rant on about his nightmares once a week for the past year. That sounds like guilt to me, not love or any of that 'mi familia' crap you love preaching about.”

“Fuck you, Roman. I called you because he needed you. It wasn't about abandoning Brian.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you did abandon him, at least as far as Brian's concerned. You never made one attempt to visit or even suggest it in the last year and you know what they say, Dominic, words and actions.”

“I figured you would have told me if he was ready,” Dom said tightly.

“And I figured that if Brian actually meant anything to any of you then nothing, not even me, could'a kept you away. Guess at least one of us was wrong, right Dom?” The call was disconnected and Dom was angry enough to hurl the device across the yard, feeling no amount of satisfaction when it shattered against the neighbour's wall.

“Well I hope that made you feel better,” Mia said with a sigh. She had come outside to tell him dinner was ready, but seeing the state he was in she wasn't sure she wanted him at the table with Jack. 

“It didn't.” Dom assured her, sounding wrecked. “Mia, I think I fucked up.”

Mia gave her brother a startled look. It wasn't often that Dom admitted to weaknesses, something he'd learned from Lompoc she was sure, so when he said something so vulnerable she knew it was serious. She approached him carefully, reaching out a comforting hand to rest on his arm. “Then you'll fix it,” she said, her voice steady and sure.

Dom shook his head, staring out at the familiar yard as if seeking comfort from ghosts. “I think it's too late.”

“If someone is still breathing then it's not too late. No one died, right?” She asked, just checking. Things had been quiet ever since they had earned their pardons and found their way home. Still involved in street racing, since racing was in Dom's blood and no amount of government influence could convince the racing circuit to forget what Dom did with a socket wrench, but they didn't live the kind of high risk life that they had once. Still, they knew people who did so it was certainly worth asking.

“No. He's still alive, but he's about to do something stupid and I've let it long enough that I know he won't listen to me.”

“He?” She asked, tentatively. There were few people who wouldn't name; one being the man who he'd injured in his grief stricken rage and the other being Brian.

“Brian,” Dom confirmed.

“So it was Roman on the phone?”

“Yeah. He hadn't called in a while so I was...”

“Worried?”

“I guess. Turns out Hobbs is trying to get Brian back into the undercover cop game.”

“You think it's a mistake?”

He snorted, “I know it is. You saw him, Mia, he was broken. No matter how much progress Roman reckons he's made in the last year he's never going to be the same.”

“Is that why you decided we'd be better off without him in our life?” Mia asked, an edge to her voice.

Dom turned to look at her in surprise. “You too? Mia, I thought I was doing the best thing for him. You never said anything, so I assumed you agreed.”

“I never said anything because it was already done, but I wasn't happy about it. You never consulted with me. Dom, Brian was our family, you don't abandon family, not ever.”

“It was your idea to divorce him,” he reminded her spitefully, not exactly enjoying the kicking he was getting despite already being down.

“Yeah, and I should have done it a long time ago. It didn't feel right, letting the matter linger especially when I was ready to move on and start dating again. It doesn't mean I forgot about him, or that I wanted him to stay gone.”

“I think that message got lost somewhere in translation,” Dom said wryly, aware of his own mistakes in that regard. “Why didn't you ever go see him?”

“You're the head of the family, Dom, whether I like it or not and most of the time I do, but that means a lot to other people as well. You told Brian that he wasn't welcome, and no amount of interference or reassurance from me is ever going to undo that or make him feel comfortable again. You made a mistake? You fix it, Dom, fix it before we all have to pay the price. Now,” Mia sighed, letting go of some of her anger. “there's some lukewarm pasta in the dining room and I've left Jack unsupervised for long enough. Come on in and eat, then you can plan to make your amends.”

Dom nodded. He knew exactly what he was going to thank God for tonight; second chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're still with me thank THANK YOU - also, you WILL be rewarded with Dom and Brian finally interacting next chapter. This story seems to be on a slow burn which wasn't intentional but hey, it's working for me. So please come back if you want some angsty Dom/Brian scenes that are a prelude to all the man love. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments and kudos! You're support really means everything to me :)

Dom meant to leave town right away, the next morning, but things happened; life. First there was the play that Jack was starring in, he couldn't let him nephew down by not being in the audience to cheer him on. Then a new part arrived for the Charger and he had to spend a week tweaking the machine until it ran as smooth as a gazelle. Eventually he realised he was finding excuses, and six weeks after chewing himself out for letting Brian go at all, he finally found his way back into the other man's life.

Brian hadn't been sitting still in that time and Dom hadn't heard from Rome once, and despite what Roman thought, Dom was the last person Hobbs was likely to consult on a case even if it did involve Brian. Hobbs knew what everyone else did, that Brian was out of prison and not in the Torettos' lives. Whether it was Dom's decision or Brian's no one was quite sure, but they all knew better than to ask. Needless to say, Roman was just as surprised as he was pissed when Dom turned up on his doorstep asking to talk to Brian. Dom was sent on his way with an address and a startling lack of bruises that unnerved him even if he appreciated it. The address led him to a club in a rough area of LA. Dom intimidated his way to the front of a lengthy line and gave the bouncer an unimpressed look that got him inside without bribe or issue. Dom was so focused on trying to find Brian that he almost missed the fact that he was surrounded entirely by men. He tensed slightly, never having been inside a gay club before and uncomfortable with the idea of being hit on. His only experiences with homosexuality was when Letty's brother came out to their parents and took off with a black eye and a promise to forget the name Ortiz, and of course Lompoc. Dom wasn't even sure if what had gone on in prison could even be classified as 'gay', in a society without women could homosexuality describe all sexual encounters or was it ascribed only to the mutual attraction between two members of the same sex? Dom knew it wasn't his place to define and frankly that was more than okay with him. Usually he just pushed aside memories of a hot mouth and a sharing hand that was slightly larger than he was used to. Here and now was what was important, that was the lesson he learned from prison. 

Dom had to admit defeat for a moment, and headed towards the bar ordering a Corona to ease his dry throat. The atmosphere was suffocating. Dom had always hated the club scene; too loud, too dark, too anonymous. He was most comfortable in his own home with family around him, the scent of home-made food and the sounds of laughter around him, or even better; a car engine roaring as he shot away from the start line of a race. These days he didn't race much, trying to stay legal, but when he did it was like every sweetest moment of his life squeezed into ten seconds. That was a rush, not this sweaty chaos of strobe lights and interchangeable beats. 

Dom had just decided to give it ten minutes more before he split and settled for waiting at Roman's house for Brian to stumble home, when he spotted him. It had been a year since Dom last saw Brian and he'd changed, but Dom was used to long periods of time between seeing Brian. Like when Brian had followed David Park, or at Letty's funeral from a hundred feet away, even when he'd showed up in the Toretto house after three years of prison, Dom recognised him easily. There was something in the way Brian held himself, not like a cop but like a street racer; with more bravery than brains, more attitude than fear. Dom started towards him, a casual glide between gyrating bodies and half-naked bar tenders, but when he noticed the company he was keeping his stride lengthened and his fury darkened his expression.

 

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Dom yelled, and even over the pulsing music Brian and his companions heard him loud and clear.

“Dom?” Brian paled and Dom saw the exact moment that Brian realised he'd used Dom's real name, his eyes flicking to the men with him in concern even as he tried to hide how shaken he was at Dom's reappearance in his life. 

Dom didn't care about the name he'd used, in fact he was more than okay with it being his real name. He had no time for cops and robbers games, after all he was here to drag Brian back to sanity and family not immerse him deeper in danger. “This is the last place I would have expected you to be.”

Brian flinched. “Fuck would you know?”

“I know you and I know you don't belong here.”

Brian smiled with bitterness, but before he could bite out a reply one of the goons he was with wrapped a possessive hand around Brian's bicep, tugging him close enough that Brian's ass must have been making friends with this guy's crotch. Dom glared at him. “You want to remove that hand.”

The man smirked, tightening his hold and Brian relaxed into the embrace, blue eyes meeting Dom's defiantly. Dom cocked his head. He had given them a warning, now it was their funeral. He put his beer down on the nearest available surface and turned to the two knuckle heads who had so enthralled Brian. He cracked his fingers aggressively and settled into a strong pose, ready to throw the first punch. After all, he didn't care if he was banned from the club. Once he had extracted Brian he doubted, and hoped, he would never have a reason to come here again.

“Dom, what are you doing?” Brian asked, panicked.

“I came here to get you, Brian, I'm not leaving without you.”

The man who wasn't currently pawing Brian, also known as the man who was going to live longer, held his hands up, looking worried. “Hey man, we didn't know the bitch was yours.”

Dom almost le himself look confused, but he was a better poker player than that; had to be with Mia around, she was definitely the sneakiest Toretto. “And now that you do know?”

The sensible man tugged on his friend's arm. “Dude, it's not worth it. Besides, poaching isn't cool.”

There was some resistance but eventually the arm loosened and Brian was pushed, not gently, away from his captor. The sullen look on his face said it all, but Dom grabbed Brian before words could be exchanged and moved towards the exit with purpose. Brian followed obediently behind him, but he had a feeling that was all for show. As soon as the fresh air hit them in the face, Dom was proved right.

“What the fuck, Dom!” Brian yelled, shoving Dom's larger frame and only really succeeding in pushing himself back further away.

“i should ask you the same thing. A gay club Brian? Don't tell me you were in there for whatever Hobbs has got you involved with.”

“How do you... You've been talking to Rome?” Brian's tone was flat now, devoid of emotion as the ramifications of his statement rocked home. Betrayal, anger and embarrassment all flashed through Brian's bright blue eyes before his lashed dipped low to hide his gaze.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Dom said, and it sounded weak.

“I wasn't,” Brian confirmed. “I'm not. You were right to call Rome, Dom. You were right to push me away.”

“I didn't mean to push you, Brian.”

“It'd better this way. Mia and Jack are better off without me, and I've got Rome to mother me. Hell, he makes a better mom than mine ever was!” 

Dom narrowed his eyes. He'd never heard Brian talk about his family, not outside of one stray conversation in which Brian had voiced his concerns about being a father based solely on his own dad's absence in his childhood. Dom had already guessed, before that talk, that Brian didn't come from a good place and he'd put money in Brian having been in more than one foster home before he'd turned eighteen. “You're family.”

“Nah, man. I was just passing through. Kind of like you right now,” Brian said, and turned to walk away.

Dom watched him, letting him go. He knew where Brian was headed, so there wasn't a risk of losing him again, and he needed time to think. Just a few hours for them both to clear their heads. In the morning he'd try to talk some sense back into Brian. For now the back of his car was waiting.


	13. Chapter 13

Rome waited until he thought was a 'safe' time to emerge from his bedroom. It was stupid, having to tip toe in his own god damn house, but it was also the safest option. He managed to make it to the bathroom to do his morning business and afterwards he let his guard down enough to walk in on Brian sat at the breakfast bar munching on a bowl of Wheaties. A genuine bowl of actual Wheaties. Roman felt sucker punched.

“Hey cuz. Sleep well?” Brian asked, his voice deceptively light. He opened his mouth to crunch down on another spoon of Wheaties, his eyes never staying from the magazine open in front of him. The glossy pages displayed an article on the latest advances with NOS and why the police wanted to make it harder for people – racers – to get hold of the compound. Roman was sure it was a really engrossing story, but he knew for a fact that Brian had already seen the article a week ago and it was only a cover so he didn't have to look at Rome. 

Roman grabbed the cereal box off of the bar and filled a spare bowl before sloshing some milk in and stuffing his mouth. “Mmh,” he mumbled in agreement, not willing to commit to any emotion right now, not until he figured out if Brian was acting this way so that Roman didn't know something was wrong or so that Rome didn't catch on that Brian was mad at him. It would be stupid for Brian to try and hide his emotions from Rome of all people, after all they had pretty much been inseparable as kids and these days not much had changed, but Brian had always played things close to the chest.

“Good,” Brian said, without further comment. 

The silence lingered on in the kitchen until Rome started to itch. He wasn't in this for the long game, so he opened with a comment that he knew would reveal how Brian was really feeling. “How about you, brah? I didn't even hear you come in last night, unless it wasn't night, right, Bri?” Rome joked, holding his fist out for a bump.

Brian didn't even look up from his breakfast. Roman didn't think anyone had ever concentrated so hard on a meal in their life. “Dude, I was at a gay club. You really want details?” 

“Hey man, you know I don't judge.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed slowly, finally turning to face Rome. He kind of wished he hadn't, because Brian's eyes were painfully icy. Angry at Rome it was then. “I also know you asked to never be told any information about the case Hobbs has me on. So why the interest in last night?”

Roman gaped, his big mouth wobbling around his inability to defend himself. This was not how Roman Pearce operated. He always had something to say, and even when he had nothing to say he could always use a hundred words to dance around that thing. Except when it came to Brian. They had been best friends since either of them could remember, and Brian was the only one who could see past Rome's bullshit. He was the only one Rome wanted to see him. Of course, right now was not a good time to be looking into Roman's soul.

“That's what I thought,” Brian said, voice as cool as his eyes. Roman thought his best friends anger was going to turn him into an ice sculpture, until Brian's fist slammed with a surprising and concerning amount of violence. “Fuck you, Rome. How could you send Dominic Toretto after me like that? No warning? Nothing. And fuck you more for reporting on me to him. What do you think you are, my fucking parole officer?”

“It wasn't like that, Bri!” Rome bit back at him.

“No? Because that's exactly what it feels like, Rome. I've spent four years under guard, I guess I just didn't see the bars this time.”

“You're a guest here, not a prisoner.”

“Maybe not but apparently I'm not free of observation. Why, Roman? Tell me that at least.”

“He was scared,” Roman blurted out the first thing that came to his head. He remembered the phone call vividly. Dom hadn't said much, which was characteristic of the man, but there had been a tone in his voice that Roman had never heard before, even when their lives had been on the line and it was seconds away from ending. 

“What?”

“Dom, he was genuinely scared for you. I asked him why he was calling me in when I knew how important family was to him, it seemed like he was shirking, you know?” Roman paused, looking for the right words, they had to be the right ones. Brian's psyche was still too fragile to mess this up with his usual foot in mouth syndrome. “He said it couldn't be him.”

“What does that mean?”

Roman shrugged. “I don't know, Bri, I just knew that you needed me. So I came.”

“And kept an eye on me for Dom?”

“No, fuck that shit. I respect Dom, I even like him a bit, but I came for you, because you're my brother. There is no one else I consider family, Bri, not like me and you. Don't ever think otherwise.”

“So why keep in contact with Dom?”

“For a while I thought he was waiting for something... for you to be the person you were before, maybe.”

“To be fixed?” Brian asked bluntly, hope and disgust warring for dominance in his tone. 

Roman knew all too well that Brian wanted to be fix, wanted to believe in a cure for what had been the worst experiences of his life. It had taken Roman months of going over the same damn things to help Brian understand that he wasn't broken, that the way he was isn't something to be ashamed of or to think of as a problem. Human beings grew, evolved, and experience shaped people. Rome was going to be damned if he let that message slip away from his best friend. “Brian, you're not a toy to glue back together. It's not always about fixing someone, sometimes it's just about learning to live again.”

“You sound like a twelve step program leaflet," Brian replied with something that was close to a laugh.

“Shut up, I'm trying to be serious with you.”

“I know, brah. I appreciate it. What changed? With Dom," he asked, easing off of the anger long enough to relax for the first time that morning,

“He never stopped waiting, so I got bored of spoon-feeding him. It was his choice to come here, Bri. It means something, I'm just not sure what.”

“Yeah? Me neither,” Brian said, equal parts bitter and defeated.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the massive delay! RL and stuff and writers block all kept me away. I started this chapter seven times in the last few weeks. This time I just jumped right in, so I hope you all forgive me if it's a bit abrupt!

“I want in.”

Until the moment that Dom had opened his mouth to speak he hadn't known what he was going to say, and judging by the look on Hobbs' face it wasn't what the other man had been expecting.

“You broke into my house to tell me that? Could have just used the front door, the answer would have been the same.”

In the years following their pardon, Luke Hobbs had become like another member of the extended Toretto family. He and his daughter were welcome at 1327 East Kensington Road any given day, and mandatory guests for Sunday barbecue whenever they were in town. For obvious reasons Hobbs' work kept him moving but his office was in LA which meant he and his daughter Samantha lived close by. Dom had been over to the Hobbs residence as a welcome guest many times before, sharing laughter and conversation with Luke, Samantha, and even Elena Neves on the few occasions she interacted with him socially. 

“So you'll get me in?”

“No,” he answered flatly. He was stood in his first floor home office, arms folded over his intimidatingly broad chest and eyes piercing through Dom's own stance to see the vulnerability behind his words. They both knew who had the upper hand here, and no amount of macho posturing would change the fact that Dom needed something from Hobbs and Luke had the power to deny him. 

“I'm not asking, Hobbs. You get me an official in or I'll get in another way.”

“You'll be risking your pardon, Toretto, and I thought nothing was more important than that.”

“My family is.”

“And what, now after all these years you're including O'Conner in that? I thought he and Mia were divorced. Seems an odd time to be picking and choosing your team, Dom.” There was no small amount of judgement behind Luke's words and Dom knew that Mia wasn't the only one holding a grudge over his actions towards Brian. Looking back it was hard not to try and rationalise it, to argue he was making the best choice for all of them, but he'd seen Brian's face in the street last night and knew that there was no rationalisation that could excuse his actions. Betrayal was something that Dom took seriously, and in this scenario he was the one perpetrating the act.

“He's always been on my team,” Dom insisted out loud, ignoring the guilt that rubbed up against his gut.

“Then why the estrangement? Far as I know neither you, your sister or her cute baby boy have seen hide nor hair of O'Conner since he first reappeared after prison. You gonna tell me that the love for mi familia being demonstrated there?” Hobbs had no interest in going easy on Dom. He respected him for that.

“You know it isn't. I made a mistake, I'm fixing it. You gonna help me, or stand in my way?”

“Just exactly what kind of in are we talking about? Do you even know the case he's on?”

“The case you put him on? The one that put him, as a civilian, in direct harm? The one that has him consorting with the kind of scum that should be behind bars?” Dom recognised his own guilt, his hands were red and he was going to have to get them dirty if he ever wanted to be clean again. Still, he wasn't about to ignore Hobbs' own ruthless methodology. Hobbs had known that Brian was vulnerable and he dragged him back into that world anyway. There was enough spilt blood between them to coat them both.

“Careful with those stones you're throwing, boy, according to the book you should be behind bars.”

“Yeah, but I'm not that kind of scum.”

“Which is exactly my problem,” Hobbs agreed with a sigh. He sat down on his comfortable office hair and leaned back. Apparently their stand-off was at an end and real negotiations were about to take place. Dom knew that Luke was going to help him, it was just a case of reassuring him it was the correct course of action to take. “Brian's undercover, which is where he does his best work, but this time the cover is himself. His in is one of the cons he did time with, a piece of shit called Theodore McNamara, aka Bear.”

“How did Brian know him?”

“He didn't, not directly. Bear, despite his name, was the bottom of the food chain in prison. White, skinny, in for a ten year stretch at just nineteen. He wasn't doing too well until he decided to take advantage of his position and turn into a bottom.”

“He was a prison bitch?” Dom didn't shy away from the word. He'd been in prison, knew how it worked. He didn't lose respect for a man that chose to survive that way. Couldn't, not without losing respect for himself for allowing it to continue right underneath his nose during his time in Lompoc. 

“He was out nine months before Brian. No bad blood between them; McNamara belonged to a different gang inside.”

“What's the connection?”

“Bear's brother-in-law is. Here's a file. Read up, and let me know exactly how you're going to help.”

“So I've got to convince you?”

Luke smiled, blindingly. “Nah man, you have to convince Brian.”

Dom knew he was screwed. This had been the east part. Based on what he saw of Brian last night he knew that the man wasn't in the forgiving mood, but worse than that was that Dom wasn't sure if Brian realised it was Dom he needed to forgive and not himself. It was Brian's sense of responsibility for the actions of others that had him handing himself over to the authorities in the first place. He'd wanted to clear his imagined debt to Letty, a debt that Dom had known full well only existed in Brian's mind, and now he was probably recreating something else to blame himself for even if he didn't realise it. Dom was the one who should have made him realise that Letty wasn't his fault. If only he hadn't been so messed up at the idea of having Letty back the way things used to be. If only he hadn't been so preoccupied by his own needs; none of this would have happened. He was going to get Brian to trust him again. He was going to bring Brian home, and this time they were keeping him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistakes or crazy shit that goes down in this chapter. Blame it on the wine. ;)

Brian was good at undercover work. He may have been a bit rough around the edges when he first infiltrated the Toretto clan back all those years ago, but ever since he’d been perfecting his skills. He was, due to his own wavering allegiances, the perfect mix of cop and criminal. He’d never had his cover blown, not unless he’d blown it himself. Tej, Dom, Mia, Letty, Carter… he’d fooled them all. Sometimes he fooled himself, and that was both the best and the worst thing that could happen to a UC cop. The fact that he wasn’t a cop anymore didn’t worry him. No back-up was a downer, although it made the rush that danger caused to shoot through his bloodstream more intense, and it was equalled out by no paperwork and no consequences. He wouldn’t have to face a room full of middle aged men who have forgotten their glory days, if they’d had any all, and explain why he’d made this decision or that decision all in a split second of adrenaline fuelled haze. Working with the Feds had been worse. When you were being asked to defend the choice between a, b, or c, knowing that each option was as bad as the others and that, even if you had chosen c instead of b, then you would still be stuck in the same stuffy office with the same frowning faces being asked the same questions. The word frustration didn’t even cover it. The jobs had been bigger, something more invigorating and consuming to fill the empty hole in his life, but the paper work was more extensive and the bull shit hadn’t been worth the thrills. He’s had a hollow life, and getting Dom back had been more than worth giving it all up for. Even now, years later and miles apart from the people he’d wanted to call family; he still couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

He guessed his life had come full circle, or at least is adult life. He's been an overeager twenty-four year old when he'd first found himself undercover, and now he was a fully fledged man with years of agonising experience under his belt to draw upon in his role. It was even easier, this time around, to separate himself into his undercover identify and keep a part of himself protected; pure. It was how he survived all the atrocities in prison, only afterwards he couldn't find the key to unlock what he kept safe during those years. Roman had been helping him, and he'd always be grateful for that even when he was mad as hell at his best friend's deceit. This time Brian was determined not to make the same mistake. He wouldn't surrender himself to the role, but he was going to milk the assumption that he was nothing but a prison bitch until there was nothing left in the eyes of onlookers. This time they would make fools of themselves.

“Bri, my man, what are you doing here?” 

Brian had been sat at the bar for over an hour, nursing a beer that wasn't Corona and tasted like shit. He couldn't afford to approach Matt Ruiz or Tyler Nix, the two men he'd been pumping last night, not without making himself look suspicious, and especially not when Dom was a known factor to them. Fuck Dom, coming in and ruining a perfectly good play. He'd been getting somewhere, but now he'd have to rebuild some of his persona and a lot of his backstory so that Dom made sense and, more importantly, so that it made sense that Dom wasn't always around. Brian had planned to play on the idea of him being not long out of prison and still crazing the abuse he'd been indoctrinated to accept in place of affection or freedom. It was still the basis of his cover, but he couldn't rely solely on that if Dom was supposed to be in his life filling the role that Brian had pretended to be missing.

Still, he couldn't give up. Not when lives depended on it; his own included. So he'd come back after the disaster of last night, dressed in his tightest pair of jeans, the ones with holes right below each ass-cheek, and a tight white t-shirt that used to belong to Roman's thirteen year old stepbrother. Brian hadn't wanted anything that looked new. To everyone who looked at him it would be as if he was the person he always had been. There was no need for them to dig any deeper, to ask why. What you see is what you get.

“Drinking,” Brian replied to the question.

Josh Brennan was twenty-six years of pure perfection. His body had two-percent body fat ratio, his skin was golden from surfing and hiking. His hair was a dark brown that caramelised in the sunlight, and his eyes were a vivid enchanting green. He'd been a model, before someone had mugged him after walking his sister home in a bad neighbourhood. They'd stolen his wallet, his iPhone, his leather jacket and kicked him in the face. His nose broke. He was useless to the agency who had promoted his Hollywood face, and the money dried up. That was his sad story, and wow did Josh let it drag him down. Yes, he'd had a shitty experience that had cost him his career, but he'd walked away from it with his life and that wasn't a small thing to be throwing away just because the world wasn't going to sit in his hand anymore. Brian wanted to punch the guy alone for being too bitter to appreciate what he had, let alone what he wanted to do to him for getting involved with the kinds of people who sold human beings into sexual slavery for profit. 

“Drinking plural? Drinks? Because you've been nursing that pint of piss since you walked through those doors. Dude, you're not gonna get drunk like that,” Josh advised him, wise to the world.

Brian barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “Man, I'm going to have to start singing for my beer if I don't find a job soon.”

Josh laughed, a dark sound that had nothing to do with humour. “You want a job or you want some money?”

“They aren't the same thing?”

“Depends on who you are.”

“Josh?”

“Don;t worry about it man. I'm just stoned. Gets me all philosophical and shit. Hey, you want to go around the back?” It wasn't the best disguised change of subject, and it wasn't the best idea, but something in Brian wanted to rebel against the idea of someone having a claim on what he said and what he did. Fuck Dom and his attitude, how dare he come in here and act like he owned Brian? It was only an act of Dom, something he'd said to keep the peace and get what he wanted, which seemed to be a chance to talk to Brian alone although a selfish desire to be forgiven Brian had no idea why he'd been ambushed. 

“Sure,” Brian said, with a toothy smile. He left his drink where it was and followed Josh through the dance floor of writhing bodies until they reached the back room, which doubled as a make out spot. It was only slightly classier than blowing someone in the alleyway, but Brian knew it was a hundred percent better than getting fucked on the cement floor of a prison cell. His knees would certainly thank him for it.

Josh pulled him close once they reached a free spot. He liked to take control, especially if his partner was older, and Brian would bet he'd heard rumours of Brian's life in prison. It would probably give Josh a thrill, this was his version of living on the wild side. Brian didn't have to think on it too hard because soon a tongue was thrusting inside his mouth and hands were pushing his jeans down his hips. Brian had to focus on the moment just to keep the panic at bay, memories always just under the surface. Again Josh stepped up the intensity of the kiss and Brian moaned a loud fake moan that sounded like the backtrack of a porno. He wasn't sure why Josh thought it was a turn on to bruise your partner's mouth, but Brian wasn't here to teach him and he knew exactly how well some advise would go down.

“Turn around,” Josh bit his ear.

Brian allowed himself to be pushed against the wall and waited for the unpleasantness of tacky, cold lubricant being spread around his hole. It never happened.

Pain burst through his skull and Brian yelled in surprise. He thought he was being attacked; raped, until he realised it was Josh who'd been hit and the force had shoved him into Brian causing his head to collide with the wall. It didn't mean he was safe just because the intent had been to hurt Josh, and Brian stayed still, curling in on himself to make himself a smaller target in response to the violence.

“Fucking slut,” someone spat at his face.

“Hey, Matt, remember not to damage him,” Tyler warned his friend.

“Fuck, we're doing him a favour. A little saliva never hurt anyone.”

“Well?” Tyler said, his voice hard now that he was focusing on Brian. His eyes took in kiss swollen lips and pain glazed eyes. “I'm waiting for a thank you, Brian.”

Brian had no clue what they wanted to be thanked for, but he was smart enough to know that if he didn't say the words then more violence would ensue. 

“Good boy,” Matt chortled to himself, reaching a hand out to stroke Brian's buzz cut. 

Brian flinched.

“Aren't you lucky that we saved you from this piece of crap?” Matt asked, kicking the unconscious body of Josh. Brian ignored the instinct to protect the younger man. Despite the fact that he knew Josh wouldn't piss on him to put out a fire, he still had enough humanity in him to want to stop someone from being beaten when they couldn't defend themselves. Josh might be one of the lower life forms on the planet, but in this instance he hadn't even done anything wrong.

Brian nodded in response to the question, but his eyes were still dazed with concussion and confusion as he looked between the two men for a clue as to what was happening.

“Little puppy,” Matt cooed, a malicious undertone to his words. “We need to call your master before you get yourself into even more trouble.”

“What?” Brian blurted out. This wasn't something he'd envisioned.

Tyler expelled a high pitched laugh just the wrong side of maniacal. Matt snarled. “Dumb fucking bitch. You come around here, throwing yourself at anyone who even glances at you, making them think they can have you... but you're a fucking tease, Brian, and what's worse is that you're playing around on your man. You need to be to taught a lesson.”

Fear spiked through Brian. 

“Give us your phone,” Matt barked out.

Fumbling Brian reached into his pocket and handed his cell to Matt. With a furrowed brow the large man scrolled through the contacts list. “Where the fuck is his number?”

“Who's?”

“Dom's, you fucking idiot!” Matt yelled.

Brian had to think fast. “It.... he... he calls me.”

Tyler, who had only just calmed down, started laughing again at the explanation. 

“Well, then I guess we're going to have to wait until he calls,” Matt growled. He grabbed the back of Brian's shirt and pushed him back, further into the darkness of the club. The music sounded far away now, and Brian could hear the rapid pumping of his heart as panic chased fear in an unending circuit.

“Please – there's someone I can call to get Dom,” Brian begged. He couldn't just wait around for someone to realise he was gone. It wasn't realistic to think they wouldn't find it suspicious when Dom never called, never came looking for his missing property. If this was the way he was going to have to play it then at least Brian could bend it to his advantage.

“What am I, stupid? I'm not handing you the fucking phone. Piece of pussy like you;d probably call the cops.”

“No cops,” Brian shook his head. “Rome.”

Matt flicked through the contacts and found the name. “Roman? Who's he? Your pimp?” He laughed at his own joke.

Brian winced. “He'll call Dom.”

“Yeah?” Matt grinned, looking entirely insane. A finger stabbed at the screen and they listened to the sound of ringing on speaker-phone. It felt like a lifetime before Rome answered.

“Bri? Man, where the fuck are you? The hulk has called here like eight times looking for you.”

“Brian's busy at the moment,” Tyler said, modifying his voice so that his accent was less pronounced. Matt stayed silent, smirking at Brian as the injured man shivered.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I'm someone who's looking out for 'the hulk's interest. If Dominic wants his boy back he'd better come and get him or else we're going to find someone who can make use of a disloyal slut like him. He knows where to find us.” The phone disconnected on the sound of Rome shouting Brian's name.

“And now, we wait.”


	16. Chapter 16

“I thought I made myself clear last time we met?” Dom announced himself.

“Hey man, the bitch came to us.”

“We caught him sneaking off with some slut. Thought you might appreciate the effort we've gone to in keeping him from making a fatal mistake.” The man who spoke had sharp brown eyes that were bloodshot and a scalp bald of hair. He was the one Dom had marked as 'sensible' the first time he'd run into these two fools. His companion was more excitable. What worried Dom was that both the men seemed to be high on something, adding another level of danger to the situation that Dom found himself in. Roman had called him an hour ago, voice full of panic and fear as he outlined what he knew. It all boiled down to; Brian was in danger, and Dom was the only one who could help. Roman threw some colourful threats in there, much more impressive that Dom's standard break-your-neck-if threat, but then the man was motivated. If Mia's life was at risk then Dom was sure his words would carry more weight. 

“Dom-,” Brian gasped as one of his captors kicked him sharply in the gut.

It took everything Dom had to keep from reacting to the violence directed at a member of his family. He kept a cool facade, allowing only one eyebrow to raise. “Do you mind damaging my property.”

“He really yours?” 

Dom gave the speaker a look dark enough to make most men's balls shrivel up. This man, however, was both too stupid and too high to realise what a mistake he was making. “You're going to regret asking me that, boy.” He inflected the last word with the same derision that Hobbs used on criminal scum. It was a warning that they were out of their league. “In fact, you're going to regret not handing over my property immediately.”

“You're going to threaten us?” Mr Sensible let out a pale of laughter that bordered on hysteria. Dom almost regretted not bringing backup, except that if he brought back up then he would have a witness to what was about to happen.

“Dom,” Brian said again. 

Dom didn't even look at the man, knowing that if he did his emotions would show on his face. “Shut the fuck up, O'Conner. You embarrass me, whoring all around town like a cat in heat. I should turn you out and let you earn some money on a street corner. If you don't start behaving I might just do that.”

Brian curled in on himself, but Dom suspected that his words had evoked fury in the man rather than the contrition he was portraying. Dom would probably have to deal with the fallout of those cruel words later, but hell if he made Brian angry so be it. Honest anger he could deal with. It was the silent treatment that Dom couldn't hack, even if turnabout is fair play.

“Hell, you don't have to do that. I'll pay you right now to take him off of your hands.”

“You lay a finger on him and I promise you won't have four fingers for much longer.”

“You know what, Dominic? I like you,” the sensible one approached him, hand out stretched. Dom eyed his hand warily but if he could get away without bloodshed then it seemed like the course to pursue. “Name's Tyler Nix, and my enthusiastic friend here is Matt Ruiz.”

Dom shook his hand, making sure to squeeze unnecessarily hard before they released. “Dominic Toretto.”

“We know. You have a reputation, Dom. People say you're a good man. Know where your proprieties are. I only wish Brian here was as loyal as you are.”

Dom shrugged. “He is what he is.”

Matt smirked. “I guess your fist is what keeps him loyal. Seems to me you've been a bit remiss in your duty.”

“He steps out on me and I'm at blame? You're going to want to rethink your logic.”

Matt's eyes narrowed at the implicit threat that ran through Dom's voice, but as usual Tyler drew attention away from the foul man just in time to stop things from getting violent. “I've got an opportunity for you.”

“I'm not interested,” Dom refused flatly. Men like this were unlikely to let it go at that, in fact it paid to seem less than interested in the offer.

“You're going to want to hear us out. There is a lot of cash involved in this.”

“I race for cash, I'm not interested in drugs.”

“It's a good thing we're looking for a driver then. Drug mules come along every day, man, they're easy to find. A man of your background with a history of violence... well, I had no idea you played for our team or I would have sought you out sooner.”

“What's the cargo? If it's drugs or people carrying drugs then like I said, I'm not interested.”

“Your mouth says no but your ears are still listening,” Matt taunted.

“You still have your hands on my property. I'd prefer to do this without drawing blood, but that's always an option.”

“It's not drugs,” Tyler raised his voice, cutting through the mumbled treats that Matt was tossing in Dom's direction. 

“So what is it?”

Tyler laughed. The man seemed to find everything funny, a trait that Dom did not relate to. “Man, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not fucking stupid. This is how it works; I give you an address, you turn up and audition. If the boss likes you then it's seventy-five grand for the first run.”

“That's a lot of money.”

“You're going to need to be very fast, and very good.”

Dom took a step forward. “I already am.” His eyes darted to Brian's prone form. “Can I leave now, or did you want me to rearrange your face?”

Tyler's jaw ticked, the first sign of genuine emotion that Dom had seen the guy reveal. He wasn't so much sensible as dangerous, far more so than his impulsive friend. “Of course. Matt, unhand the little bitch.”

Matt grabbed Brian's upper arm hard enough to bruise and pushed him up and towards Dom. Dom let Brian fall down at his feet where, to Dom's surprise, he stayed. Dom glowered in Brian's direction, turning all the rage he felt towards Matt and Tyler on the fallen man. “Get up,” he barked. 

Brian raised himself from the ground, clutching at his sore ribs as he panted for even breaths. Dom worried he would have to get him to a hospital, but once Brian was up that familiar stubborn look fell over his face and he knew they'd be able to walk out of here and find Mia or someone to take a look at him.

“Don't forget to meet us,” Tyler called out as Dom walked away. The address had been provided on a discrete printed card, and belonged to the local warehouse district. Subtle.

“Let me check my calender.”

“Don't turn this chance down, Dominic. I don't think your little toy would much like the consequences.”

“I'll take that into consideration.”

There was a car waiting around the corner. It looked like a piece of crap on the outside but the engine was worthy of worship and it had enough NOS inside to win against almost anyone at Race Wars. Dom didn't feel safe until they were thirteen miles away from the club with no trace of a tail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to give a big thanks to all those who have commented of read this story. Thanks guys. Sorry it's so slow going!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm back again! Sorry about the delay, last week was way busier than intended. Good things (burlesque show, dinner with friends) and bad things (car trouble) kept me away from the computer. Here is an update just for all of you! We get some lovely Brian/Dom angst. Don't worry, I'm going to ramp it all up in the next chapter and turn the tables on the boys. ;)

They drew up outside of Roman's house just after two am. Roman was a party animal, loved living large, and as such he was a man who had no issues staying up all night. For the right cause. On the nights in-between he was a creature of habit; early to bed and early to rise with plenty of gym time. Tonight should have been one of those nights, but his light was on and he could be seen peering out of the window at them, checking they were home safe. He was the mother hen Brian had never realised he needed.

Brian reached for the door handle, determined not to rehash the nights events. He didn't want to say thank you to someone who had abandoned him when he needed him the most, but his own sense of obligation wouldn't rest unless he did. To avoid this he didn't say anything. Then, the door lock clicked into place and Brian found himself trapped in a small space at the mercy of Dominic Toretto.

“Unlock the door, Dom.”

“That all you want to say to me?”

“You don't want to hear what I have to say. Trust me.”

“You think I can't handle it?”

“Fuck, Dom!” Brian threw his head back against the headrest, his eyes locked on the window screen in front of him. “Not everything is about your god-damn pride, or your ego.”

“Then what? Yours?”

Brian flinched. “Pride isn't my problem, Dom. In prison, pride would have had me dead, but I surrendered pride and dignity and my fucking sense of self just to stay alive. You called it when you called me a whore, except I didn't even get paid for it.”

“Brian, I was playing a role. I didn't mean one fucking word I said in front of those scumbags. I would never... could never think of you like that. I told you before that there is nothing degrading about doing what you need to stay alive.”

“Yeah, I bet a macho guy like you didn't have to bend over until he broke.”

“No.” He sighed. He hated talking about prison, something Mia, Letty and Vince learned pretty quickly after he got out. “Brian I was an animal when they locked me up, made of nothing but rage and instinct. If anyone came close to me then I would describe what Kenny Linder looked like after I was finished with him. It wasn't hard, I saw his face every night in my dreams. No one messed with me.”

“Lucky you.”

Dom shrugged. “It was what it was.”

“And we are who we are?” 

“You are not one single event in your life, Brian. Don't let prison define you. It doesn't define me.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, you going to unlock the car door now?”

“This isn't a pep talk. This is me trying to address the issues we have between us so I can help you climb out of the hole Hobbs dug for you.”

“Oh, you're going to help me? Fuck you, Dom, and fuck your issues. I don't need you in my life, and you sure as hell don't want me in yours so what is left to talk about?”

“I know that's what you believe, and it's my fault for letting that stand, but it's not true. When you came back from prison you were a different person, except Mia was looking at you like you were the Brian of old. We all did. Like you'd somehow just forget the past few years and resume your life with us. It was naïve of us to think that could happen, but I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, calling in Roman behind your back and pushing you away. I had my reasons, but it doesn't mean they were the right reasons.”

“What reasons? Even Rome didn't know when I asked him,” Brian met Dom's eyes, he needed this, an answer, something to prove that Dom's recognition of the mistake he made wasn't because of the guilt he felt but a deeper wronging that he had committed. 

Dom shook his head. “That doesn't matter now. We need to focus on the challenge ahead. I take it you aren't going to back away from this case if I ask nicely?”

“No!” Brian reared back, anger pushed past his confusion and hope becoming the dominant emotion again. “Fuck that. You don't own me.” Mia's words, all those years ago, back when Brian thought being owned was like belonging. He had the scars to prove that wasn't always the case.

“No, I don't,” Dom agreed, and Brian felt the words like a punch to his gut despite the rationalisations he'd made seconds ago. “But I do have the location where Dumb and Dumber want to meet, and I'm presuming this is the type of information that your little alleycat act was supposed to get?”

Brian threw him a defeated look. “You don't have to get involved Dom. Tonight was a mistake, mine. I should have been watching out for them. I didn't realise they'd react like that. Most people wouldn't. I'd be willing to bet they'd both been in prison at some point.”

“I think you mean 'thank you, Dominic'.”

“Shit, Dom. This isn't like ganging up against a lone truck driver in the middle of the desert knowing you have four people backing you up and a sister waiting at home ready to take action if she doesn't hear from you by daylight. This isn't any of the stupid or dangerous shit we've done. This is people who'd sell little girls into sexual slavery for profit without blinking. A hundred people die and they calculate the loss of profits and move on. They had people, trained people, undercover on this and they lost all of them. If you had a single brain cell you'd give me that piece of paper and walk away.”

“It's nice to know you still care,” Dom drawled, and released the locking mechanism of the car. “I'll meet you here at 2pm tomorrow to discuss where we go from here.”

Brian wanted to punch Dom. Really badly. Instead he pushed the door open violently and enjoyed the glare Dom sent his way when he slammed it shut with equal force. Dom drove off at a speed, but Brian knew he'd be back. Dom seemed to have something to prove to Brian, or maybe to himself, and if he was really lucky then it wouldn't get him killed. Brian's last thought of the night was that he'd never been that lucky.


End file.
